basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
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Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
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i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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