guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
