I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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