I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Shitshow foam night was such a success
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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