Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
