he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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