the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
