i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
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bring money and cleavage
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
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All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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