The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
