There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
