Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
