just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
