Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
