...so i touched it.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
