took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
