at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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