we made out on top of his cat.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I wish you could order shots online.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
