im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
