There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
