Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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