Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
