It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
