Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
