it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He has the fingertips of a God
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