Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
