if i died would you start the facebook group?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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