Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
