My hand turned me down
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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