Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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