I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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