I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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