he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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