textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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