need another drink. this is the easiest way
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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