Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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