You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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