I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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