before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
