I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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