Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
