i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
