Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
