Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
