Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
