Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
