I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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