Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize