You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Randomize
