life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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