I think I am morally bankrupt
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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