He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize