You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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