the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
