I hate your face
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
