My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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