there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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