Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
