The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
