Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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